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This is grief.

It is not pretty. It is not the romanticized version of loss you see in movies; of finding the hidden meaning for why this happened.

It is ugly.
It is the depths of sadness you never imagined possible.
It is snotty.
It is howling.
It is crying. Every. Single. Day.
It is guilty. Guilt at yourself for not doing more to save your loved one. Guilt for being alive. Guilt for moving forward.
It is uncomfortable.
It is all consuming.
It is awkward conversations.
It is not being able to leave your house, or spend time with people you love, or do things you once enjoyed.
It is wishing it had been you.
It is dark thoughts.
It is mourning for the life you don’t get to have anymore, and the life your loved one has lost.
It is hating trivial shit.
It is exhausting.
It is waiting for a finish line that will never come.
It is triggers.
It is some ok days and lots of terrible days.
It is the price of love. 
It is missing and longing for what you have lost.
It is so many memories that can sometimes bring solace, but sometimes bring immense pain.
It is slowing trying to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and keep moving forward even when you don’t see any point in a life without your loved one.

This is grief. This is hard. This is something you’d never wish on anyone.

I’ll let this speak for me…

"People say bullshit clichés like ‘time heals all wounds’ to comfort themselves. But anyone who’s experienced real grief knows that it never goes away – you just get better at lying to yourself, at covering up the signs, at faking normal."

- Julie Johnson, Like Gravity (via reading-is—breathing)


Body Art by Gesine Marwedel, Germain artist.

(via atelophilic)




One of the most beautiful women on the face of this earth

…She Said.

After a night of dancing, a shower is a welcome way release tension.

8===D———{ Wetiquette

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